Yours, Mine and Mine

Yours, Mine and Mine is the eleventh episode of the seventh season and the two hundred and fifty-fifth episode of the series.

Plot
Patrick is at the Krusty Krab and orders a Kid's meal. Since he doesn't have any money, SpongeBob pays for it. He agrees to share it with SpongeBob, but doesn't save any of the meal for him. Patrick then wants his money back because his meal didn't come with a toy, again despite the fact that SpongeBob paid for it, not him. Mr. Krabs sticks some straws and goggly eyes on a Krabby Patty and calls it a Krabby Patty shaped toy, and SpongeBob falls in love with it and names it "Patty Pal”.

Patrick then reminds SpongeBob that they are sharing this meal, ignoring that he ate it all himself and takes Patty Pal. It was the end of the day, and Patrick still won't let SpongeBob play with Patty Pal. They both go home, and SpongeBob says that Patrick will be asleep and not get to play with Patty Pal, but Patrick was dancing with Patty Pal all night.

SpongeBob wakes up and goes over to get the toy, but Patrick made excuses not to come out. SpongeBob pretends to walk away, but fails to get Patrick to give him Patty Pal. Patrick whines and says it's not fair that Spongebob wants the toy. SpongeBob tries to be diplomatic and suggests that they each get a day with it, Patrick refuses. The times SpongeBob suggests keeps getting shorter until he says that they trade off every second. However even when they do that, Patrick still looks physically pained to part with the toy for even a second. Therefore, he takes the toy and runs away.

They run into Squidward's house and Sandy's Treedome. Sandy tries to help them, but they dry out and run out of her treedome. Then they fight again, they roll onto a bus, a subway, a taxi, into the Krusty Krab. Patrick then eats Patty Pal after saying if he can't have it then no one can have it. SpongeBob and Patrick then complain to Mr. Krabs, who stops their argument saying that they should be ashamed for letting a toy get in their way of friendship. After that, he lets them each have a toy, but they have to pay for it. Patrick says he'll pay, but he pulls out SpongeBob's wallet. When SpongeBob says that it's his wallet, Patrick says, "Have you learned nothing about sharing?"

Characters

 * SpongeBob SquarePants
 * Patrick Star
 * Eugene H. Krabs

Locations

 * SpongeBob's House
 * Patrick's rock
 * Squidward's house
 * Sandy's Treedome
 * The Krusty Krab

Cultural References

 * The Krabby Kiddie Meal is a parody of a McDonald's Happy Meal.
 * The episode's title is a parody of a Corduroy episode and the film Yours, Mine, and Ours.

Errors

 * When SpongeBob is talking to Gary, a few of SpongeBob's holes turn red for a moment.

Transcript

 * [episode starts off with a close up of the Krusty Krab]
 * Squidward: Can I help you?
 * Patrick: Yeah. [Looks at the menu] Let's see here. I have a question about the Krabby Kiddy meal. Is it really, really, REALLY cute? [There is a pause].
 * Squidward: Adorable.
 * Patrick: Cuter than a regular Krabby Patty?
 * Squidward : Yes. [SpongeBob appears through his window].
 * SpongeBob: Psssssst. Patrick, get the Krabby Kiddy Meal. Look, [brings out a regular Krabby Patty] a regular Krabby Patty here, [brings out Kiddy Patty], a Krabby Kiddy Patty here.[line appears over both Krabby Patties to show how much "cuter" the Kiddy Patty is] 30% cuter. And it only costs one dollar more.
 * Patrick: [points] Oh yah! Yah! Yah! I want that! [SpongeBob brings out Krabby Kiddy meal]
 * Squidward: That'll be $4.99. [Patrick gets out "money"]
 * Patrick: Is this enough? [In his hand is a piece of string, a paper clip, a pin, and some crumbs]
 * Squidward: No.
 * SpongeBob: Sorry Patrick.
 * Patrick: Oh, crud! That's everything I got! [Begins to cry].
 * SpongeBob: I've got an idea. We can buy it together and share it.
 * Patrick: [sobs] Share it?
 * SpongeBob: Sure. You see sharing is the most wonderful...
 * Patrick: Yeah yeah yeah. [takes SpongeBob's money and gives it to Squidward]. I'm familiar with the concept of "sharing". [bubbles change the scene to Patrick eating his Krabby Kiddy meal]. Sharing is fun. [takes bite] Right SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: Oh yeah. [Patrick gulps down the Krabby Kiddy Patty] Aren't you gonna save some of that for me?
 * Patrick: What?
 * SpongeBob: Nothing.
 * Patrick: Hey! [flips over box] Where's the toy?
 * SpongeBob: Oh it doesn't come with a toy.
 * Patrick: What? That's a rip off! I want my money back! [Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs taking a money bath]
 * Mr. Krabs: [wakes up] MONEY BACK?! [walks out of office with towel wrapped around him] What's the problem here?
 * Patrick: My Kiddy meal didn't come with a toy!
 * Mr. Krabs: Hm. And you'll like to upgrade to the toy package is that right?
 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, the Krusty Krab doesen't have any toys.
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh really? [takes Krabby Patty away from customer].Then what do you call?...[fixes Krabby Patty] this? [The Krabby Patty now has eyes, legs a mouth and arms made from kitchen ingredients. SpongeBob and Patrick gasp].
 * SpongeBob: An officially "licensed" Krusty Krab toy? [smiles]. [Zooms in on Krusty Krab toy, then on SpongeBob. Then SpongeBob touches the Krusty Krab toy with his nose and the screen turns black except for SpongeBob and the Krusty Krab toy, then breathes deeply] My purpose in life is to have you as my toy. [rubs toy].
 * Mr. Krabs: Eww. [takes toy away from SpongeBob] Disgusting. Ahem. yep it's pretty special all right. And it can be yours for only... [SpongeBob takes out crumpled up money. Mr. Krabs's eyes are wide and zoom in on the money]. Hey, good looking. [SpongeBob gives Mr. Krabs's money and Mr.Krabs gives SpongeBob the toy. Mr. Krabs runs back to his office and hangs up "Do Not Disturb" sign].
 * SpongeBob: [kisses Krabby Patty toy] I love you officially licensed Krabby Patty toy. Not too formal. Ah! I think I'll call you Patty Pal! [dances with Patty Pal].
 * Patrick: Am I interrupting?
 * SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Patrick. Have you met my new toy?
 * Patrick: Don't you mean "our" new toy?
 * SpongeBob: Our new toy?
 * Patrick: It came from the meal that we're "sharing."
 * SpongeBob: Sharing?
 * Patrick: Remember? [imitates SpongeBob] Sharing is the most wonderful feeling in the world, like dancing with a magical seahorse through an enchanted kelp garden [stops imitating SpongeBob] Remember those words SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: I didn't say that. But I guess we can share Patty Pal. [Patrick takes Patty Pal and laughs] Now can I see it again Patrick? [Patrick takes Patty Pal away]
 * Patrick: I thought we were sharing it?
 * SpongeBob: When's my turn?
 * Patrick: Aren't you supposed to be working? [Mr. Krabs looks angrily at SpongeBob for not washing the floor]
 * SpongeBob: [Begins mopping] Of course. [scene changes to nighttime where Mr. Krabs locks up the Krusty Krab and everyone walks home] Now is it my turn?
 * Patrick: No. [He and SpongeBob arrive at their houses]
 * SpongeBob: How about now?
 * Patrick: Uh, maybe tomorrow.
 * SpongeBob: [Sighs sadly] Nighty-night Patty Pal [Patrick swipes it away as SpongeBob reaches out to touch it]
 * Patrick: NO TOUCHING!!! See you tomorrow [walks over to his house and jumps in] Say goodnight Patty Pal [imitates Patty Pal voice] Goodnight SpongeBob [rock then closes on both of them]
 * SpongeBob: [sadly] Goodnight [then walks to his house, changes his clothes, and climbs into bed] Poor Patrick. He's only got the Patty Pal for tonight, and he'll be asleep, and won't get to play with it at all! [laughs. Scene then changes to Patrick dancing with Patty Pal all night while listening to loud electronic music on big speakers. Scene then changes to morning, where SpongeBob gets up happily next to Gary] YES!!! Today's my Patty Pal day! Oh, this is going to be fun!
 * Gary: Meow.
 * SpongeBob: Gary, of course, Patrick will give me my turn with the Patty Pal!
 * Gary: Meow.
 * SpongeBob: Gary, you can be a real negative nancy! [then walks out of his bedroom]
 * Gary: Meow
 * SpongeBob: I heard that! [then walks out of his house and to Patrick's while singing about sharing. He then arrives and knocks on Patrick's rock. Muffled electronic music can be heard] Good Morning Patrick! [muffled music stops] 
 * Patrick: Uh, I'm not home right now! Please leave a message! Beeeep!
 * SpongeBob: [upset] Patrick, it's me! SpongeBob! It's my turn to play with the toy!
 * Patrick: I can't go out! I just washed my hair!
 * SpongeBob: You don't have any h-[angry voice] come out Patrick! It's my turn!!
 * Patrick: [sticks hand out] Got any ID?
 * SpongeBob: [takes out ID] I have my milkshake dispenser operator license [Patrick takes it and looks at it]
 * Patrick: Looks fake to me pal! Bye-Bye now!
 * SpongeBob: [sarcastically] Well, I guess I had best be going! [pretends to walk away] I'm walking away. Here I go. [whispers] I'm gone now! [then hides on top of Patrick's antennae]
 * Patrick: You sure?
 * SpongeBob: [still whispering] I'm sure! [Patrick walks out to take a look, and SpongeBob pounces] HI PATRICK!! Time to share!!!
 * Patrick: Deceiver!! You didn't leave at all!!
 * SpongeBob: Oh, and you were washing your hair!?!
 * Patrick: I was to, See? [shows he washed his armpit hair. After, SpongeBob leaps and lands in front of Patrick, while performing a good somersault routine with a nice landing] Nice dismount!
 * SpongeBob: I'm working out!
 * Patrick: Well, gotta go! [turns to walk away, but SpongeBob pulls him back]
 * SpongeBob: Hold on, buster! Hand over the toy! It's my turn!
 * Patrick: I can't! Patty Pal and me have really bonded!
 * SpongeBob: [surprised] Gary was so right about you! You're a non-sharer!
 * Patrick: Gary said that? You're off my friend list, Gary!!
 * Gary: Meow. [turns and slithers back into SpongeBob's house]
 * SpongeBob: Hand it over Patrick! I get to play with the Patty Pal today! [Patrick was about to hand it over, but takes it away]
 * Patrick: You can't take it! It's not fair!! [SpongeBob tries to take it while trying to give Patrick a resonable offer]
 * SpongeBob: How about I take it for half a day?
 * Patrick: Mm-mm!
 * SpongeBob: How about we trade off every hour?
 * Patrick: Mm-mm!
 * SpongeBob: Every Half Hour?
 * Patrick: Mm-mm!
 * SpongeBob: Every fifteen minutes?
 * Patrick: Mm-mm!
 * SpongeBob: Five minutes?
 * Patrick: Mm-mm!
 * SpongeBob: One minute?
 * Patrick: N-n-no!
 * SpongeBob: Okay then for our final offer we trade off every second!
 * Patrick: One.
 * SpongeBob: One.
 * Patrick: One. [Then he ran away from SpongeBob because he won't share his toy. SpongeBob gets angry with a train sound. Now they start chasing each other. They got into Squidward's house. Chasing starts again, they roll and the glass shatters]
 * Squidward: I hate them. [Now, they're chasing to Sandy's house]
 * Sandy: Hi Patrick, SpongeBob.
 * Both: Hi Sandy.
 * Sandy: What in tarnation's going on with you two?
 * Patrick: SpongeBob won't let me play with my toy.
 * SpongeBob: Patrick won't share our toy.
 * Sandy: What you need is a mediator. Y'all bet to sit down and work this out. Now the main problem in an argument is a lack of communication. You can only resolve conflict when you stand each other. So I want each of you to state what is most important to the each of you right now. [they both screech their voices]
 * SpongeBob: Water!?!?!? [they crawl away and both breathe]
 * Patrick: Oh boy.
 * SpongeBob: That mediator lady make some good points.
 * Patrick: Most definitely.
 * SpongeBob: It takes understanding.
 * Patrick: Communication is key. [Now they start fighting and rolling, got into the bus, the train, the taxi, and into the Krusty Krab. They stopped rolling]
 * SpongeBob: It's my turn!
 * Patrick: No, it's mine!
 * SpongeBob: Mine! [both screaming]
 * Patrick: If I can't have it, no one can! [eats Patty Pal then gulps]
 * SpongeBob: No!
 * Mr. Krabs: Avast, there, laddies. What's all this ruckus about now?
 * SpongeBob: It's our Krabby Patty toy Mr. Krabs, and Patrick ate it, so I can't play with it.
 * Patrick: SpongeBob won't let me play with it.
 * SpongeBob: Only if you have it all night.
 * Patrick: I did not!
 * SpongeBob: Did too!
 * Patrick: Nuh-uh!
 * SpongeBob: Oh you, toy eater!
 * Patrick: Tattletale!
 * Mr. Krabs: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, settle down. All this brawling is over a toy? You two shouldn't let a little trinkle between youse two. You should be ashamed of yourselves. If I give you each of ya another toy, would that make you happy?
 * SpongeBob and Patrick: Yes.
 * Mr. Krabs: Well, you're in luck! You two so thrilled with a toy. I'm have entire case e'made. I've been selling my hotcakes. That'll be $13.50 each.
 * Patrick: This time it's on me. [pulls SpongeBob's money out]
 * SpongeBob: Patrick, that's my money.
 * Patrick: Have you learned nothing about sharing?